One step forward, two steps back.

It happened again.  I was laying down on my side and I couldn’t breath.  it’s not even that I was completely thinking about it, but I just was thinking about Kurt and was thinking about how much had changed and watching this movie about this girl who had sex for fun and I just couldn’t breath.  It was the most overwhelming event that I’ve had in weeks and I just couldn’t.  I froze.  It felt like I raced back in time and I couldn’t handle being where I am at now.  And I couldn’t change anything because I just froze.  Distant.  Incoherent.  Blank.

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