Since the incident my body and mind have been reacting in many different ways. For the first week and a half I slept. I slept day in, day out. For the next week and a half I adjusted to the single/alone life. I tried my best to connect more with myself and just heal.
I hadn’t told my mom. I’m not sure how she’d react and I know she’d be there for me but I just need to figure it out on my own before I can drag her into it. This week for spring break is the first time that I’ve seen my mom since the incident. But on my drive to az to pick up my mom I started getting short of breath. Almost as if my lungs were closing in and I was having an anxiety/asthma attack all in one…. I didn’t thinking anything of it until I saw my mom and suddenly had a need for word vomit. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to tell her or just needed to tell her. But then tonight I was laying down, thinking once again about what happened and I sat up because it got hard to breathe and I just don’t understand. Why does this feel like it’s killing me and taking over my body. What can I do to stop it?