Won’t Understand.

I feel like I’m living through that scene in Twilight.  Ya know, the one where Bella and vamp boy broke up and all the seasons change, but she’s just sitting in her room, looking out the window.  That’s where I am.  Sitting in my room, looking out my window, realizing all the wreckage that has happened around me and not knowing how to fix it.

I was raped.  I was taken advantage of.  I was roofied.  I told Kurt and he flipped, just completely freaked out.  He took it as I was cheating on him, because it couldn’t possibly be rape.  I couldn’t have possibly been given the date rape drug, I couldn’t have possibly said no.  These are things he said.  These are things that run constantly through my mind.   Being with him for the past  two years has been amazing. Sure we’ve definitely had our ups and downs, but I thought he was the one.  I thought we’d get married, have a few kids, I’d show him the world and he’d give me everything I needed.  But we haven’t spoken in a week and he won’t respond to my texts.  And I never thought I’d be so confused and so broken all at once.  But here I am.  Staring outside of my window.  Feeling like Bella from Twilight, so broken, so shocked, so frozen.

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